Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize