Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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