my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
