Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
