My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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