Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
