he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
