Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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