I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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