R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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