What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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