thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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