I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
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Do I have a choice?
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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