So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize