This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Drake has all the answers
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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