then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
