Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
