dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
