My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just high enough for therapy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize