happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
