grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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