We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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