I will die if light touches me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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