ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
