we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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