sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
