tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The Olympian is in my bed
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