The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
