hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
