I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
