speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize