don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
