question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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