we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
