I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize