Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
