Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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