their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
bring money and cleavage
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
