dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
