Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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