It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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