just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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