Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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