I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
