Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
