Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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