What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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