Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
