Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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