At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
