just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize