I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
