That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
