I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
