everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
