Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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